


So It Will Be

by tomohisa (Velairena)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6464248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velairena/pseuds/tomohisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your final moments after the ambush of the Female Titan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So It Will Be

You laid peacefully in the tall grass as your eyes stared into the clear blue skies while your life slowly drained out of you, your hands no longer having the strength to block the wound on your stomach, allowing the metallic liquid to slip through your trembling fingers. 

In the back of your mind, you could see the elegance of a swinging figure, taking down each of the man eating monsters that stood in his path. You also saw an army of people in pine green uniforms suddenly jumping up in one precise movement. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you realized that like with the man you loved, never again will you see, or be apart of that graceful, carefully coordinated movement.

 _Tch_ ,  _brat. You really are going crazy._ Youcould hear him saying.

 _Oh, but crazy in love with you._  You would have laughed back. It was then you realized how much you truly loved him. But as you stared into the cloudless blue above you, you, too, realized that the world was truly beautiful. You just dwelled to much in the cruelness and the unfairness of it while you were still so full of life and so full of hope. Never again would you feel the wind through your hair as you flew through the air, never again could you feel the rush of adrenaline before claiming triumph of your enemy. 

Was this what Ilse Lagnar felt when she knew her end was near? So unsatisfied, so defeated... 

You could see the vibrant flowers around you, the never fading skies, the coolness of the emerald grass, the butterflies floating by the flowers that grew around you, the birds chirping... 

You took a laboured breath. But still, your pained breathing did not hinder the clarity of that breath, nor the absolute pureness of it. It was a breath of fresh after a lifetime of stifled breaths. It was the first of those you would take next, and it seems that, now, it would be the only ones you would take. 

Shame that the man you loved nor the people you considered family couldn't be there to enjoy it with you. Shame that you only realized the true beauty of this world when you were only moments away from leaving it.

You vision was slowly darkening, despite your eyes being wide open. You suddenly wished the skies weren't so bright, but was the cloudy gray as it would be before an inevitable storm, like your death. It would remind you of his eyes, the cold blue-gray that you fell in love with. 

You vision darkened even further. Suddenly, you were warm despite being on the cool moist grass. You truly felt what death was as the sun draped you in a blanket of light. It was nothing as what the books described as. Nothing of what the clueless authors had written in the spur of moment, or after years of research and plotting, there was simply no way of describing it. There was no cold. No fatigue, no hunger. Only light. Which was ironic as it only darkened your vision further and led you deeper into the shadows you longed to escape. Distantly, you heard the crack of thunder.

_I guess I got my wish after all..._

Your vision finally darkened into nothingness as your spirit rose from your body, leaving your blood stained (h/c) hair, your torn forest green uniform, your wide (e/c) eyes staring into oblivion. 

Forever.  
\-----

_Two nights later..._

"Alright, troops!" Erwin shouted. "Spread around! This was where the Female Titan was last seen. Perhaps there may be a track!" He said even though even he himself knew that it was hopeless. The storm must have destroyed all evidence of there even being an entire pack of titans hurtling through, much less one that seemed intelligent enough to conceal it's own track. A letter on Eren Yeager's condition was received not long after they had set camp yesterday. Because of the rain, the letter was half smudged, but they were able to make out that Eren was safe and sound. And that was enough for them.

Suddenly, a scream ripped through the forests, setting birds off and making them escape in flocks. How Erwin longed to go with them. But the Commander stayed rooted to the ground, for he had no wings, and Erwin Smith was no coward. He would not abandon humanity.

"That sounded like Petra," Hanji said inquisitively. She looked at Mike while he sniffed and nodded his head.

Levi just muttered his signature  _Tch_ and rode off, with the other three following closely. But one of them was missing. 

Erwin could see how much his fellow Squad Leaders missed the cadet. He caught Hanji countless times almost calling out for (Y/N) to retrieve her a file somewhere only (Y/N) could find, Mike going into the room the piano and the rest of her things to talk. Hell, he's even caught Levi almost yelling at her to make him tea. How did he know about all if this? Because he, too, knew no better and missed her too. But now, they couldn't tell her. 

He had no idea just how right he was.  
\-----

Petra clutched her hand to her chest while she trembled, Eld looked sick.

"What's going on?" Hanji shouted.

Petra stared at something and continued shaking while Eld just looked too shock to answer. The four got closer to the tall grass.

Hanji saw the familiar green cape of Survey Corps and got off her horse, intrigued. 

"Shitty glasses," Levi warned.

Carefully, Hanji made her way into the tall grass and brushed it apart--

She scrambled back with a gasp, her eyes were wide with disbelief. 

"What is it Hanji?" Erwin demanded.

"No, it can't be. It can't be." She muttered. "It  _can't be!_ "

Erwin got off of his horse closely followed by the other two. With a long stride he brushed the grass and cleared the face to light--

Petra let out a chocked sob, and to Levi, the image of your eyes staring into oblivion would haunt him forever.

The rain did no justice to your beauty, seeing you still took his breath away, even if your skin was pale and sickly, bloody and bruised. You would look beautiful in just about anything.  _Alive._ The rain may have not diminished your beauty, but it did nothing to conceal the terrors of the wounds you bared. The wound in your stomach that was your downfall was still wide as it was when you died, your uniform was still torn as it was when you sacrificed yourself to save Eren. Your eyes were still as wide and unseeing as they were when you left.

Levi fell to his knees by your side and buried his head into his hands. But the cold hard truth was right there in front if them: you were gone.

And you weren't coming back.  
\-----

Your funeral was on a Saturday. Your favourite day of the week. 

You were not to be burned, unlike countless other soldiers that had given their lives for humanity, you were not just another faceless body to burn. They wouldn't have let you to. No,  _you_  were the fire that ignited their flames. Even Nile Dok deemed you worthy of a proper burial; Darius Zackly attended himself.

You didn't wear any fancy, extravagant clothes as most that were given the honour of a burial while you laid in the open coffin. Hell, you weren't even in full uniform. You only wore the signature green Survey Corps cape, your (f/c) jacket inside, an armband of the Wings of Freedom wrapped around your right arm. Your straps were done as they always were: wrong, as Levi had reprimanded and punished you for years on end. But now, it was one of the aspects he, along with many others, missed so much about you.

Hanji, Mike, Erwin, Levi, Shadis, the Special Operations Squad and the former trainees of the 104th squadron stood in front of your coffin with solemn looks. Each held only a slip of paper in their hands, to remember you by your music, and your love of literature and writing. Nobody had any sort of flower on their hand. Everyone knew you hated flowers. You, yourself, had often told them the reason why. They had asked, after all?

_"Why do the best people always die?"_

_"Which flowers do you pick in the garden?"_

_"The most beautiful ones."_

Ironic how now, you yourself was now one of those flowers picked, and would soon be apart of the dirt that would nourish the floral you despised so much like the woman that gave birth to you but was never truly your mother. 

But you couldn't tell them; what you saw your final moments. The beauty, the wonders, all the things that had been around you all along, but was too blind to see. Regret flooded you as you once tore up the beautiful gifts from Mother Earth and threw them into muddy water, tainting their delicate petals. Your only clarity now was that you would eventually become apart of the ground that would eventually bless those around it with more flowers. More blessings that you could now see, but not touch. Like your relationship with your comrades and lover now, as nothing more than a spirit.

You smiled, a ghostly whisp in the air. No, your mother was wrong, you felt satisfaction while you served humanity, you felt the sense of accomplishment and triumph with each Titans slaughtered.  _You,_ yourself was wrong. They didn't only pick the brightest flowers. They only picked the ones that willingly let them pick it, the ones that  _didn't_  fight. The ones that escaped their grasps was because they were  _fighters._ Not because they weren't beautiful. Not because they weren't good enough. Each flower was unique in its in way.

So this is it how it ends; you were fine with that. You would eventually see those you loved again. Somewhere else, perhaps in a world where you could live with no fear, perhaps in another world like this one. You didn't care, because you  _will_ see them again, you knew that. You could feel it in your heart that no longer beat, your veins that no longer had blood running through it. But you could feel it: you would see them again, after their own duties were completed. This is how it ends, and you were perfectly fine with that.

So it will be. You would wait for them.

\-----

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this, if you did, leave a kudo or comment if you can, both would be appreciated, you could also find me @ www.wattpad.com/user/Velairena/


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